Feeding the other wolf

I read a great article today by Margaret Plews-Ogan (and a flock of others) -- she was writing about graduate medical education and teaching, but the opening story reminded me of parenting.

This is how it goes.

There is a story of a Cherokee elder sitting with his grandchildren. he says to them, "In every life there is a terrible fight -- a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion."

And one of the children asks, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The elder looks him in the eye. "The one you feed."

I snapped at Abby, our ten year old, yesterday. She was screwing around, not getting dressed and we only had a few minutes before we had to be out the door to gymnastics.

I've heard we're the yelling generation, and certainly, I'm as guilty as the next parent. We've stopped beating our children, so now we just scream. I know from behaviorism that it's entirely ineffective as a parenting strategy, but man, she ticked me off.

Better stop on the way home and pick up a steak for the other wolf...

Plews-Ogan et al, (2007) Feeding the Good Wolf: Appreciative Inquiry and Graduate Medical Education. ACGME Bulletin, 5-8.